Plumber's crack

The whole country is talking about this guy but there seems to be a little gap between the image of Joe the friggin plumber, the center of the candidates debate on Wednesday, and the actual guy out in OH who doesn’t have a plumber’s license, whose real first name is Samuel and from what I can tell, he’s not even really bald! I think he shaves his head and then uses bees wax to get that reflective sheen.

"I'm getting ready to buy a company that makes $250,000 to $280,000 a year," he told Obama in an exchange that showed up on YouTube. "Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn't it?" Keep in mind, he has not yet bought the three man operation.

Here’s the point that seems to be missing from the argument that simply stated is: If Joe buys the plumbing company will he pay higher taxes? No. The company may have sales of up to $280 K but Joe him self is not going to take a salary of $200 thou, which is what would be his “higher taxes” threshold as an individual. The $250K number is for a household. Joe is on crack if he thinks he can pull $199,000 out of his fledgling firm for owner’s compensation, but if he did, he would remain in the 36% bracket as opposed to the egregious, small-business busting 39%.

But Joe’s potential business has two helpers, at least one vehicle, an office, inventory, insurances, an accountant and an occasional lawyer all of whom/which will want to be paid before Joe gets to keep any of the total revenues for himself. Oh, and also too, he’s buying the business which means he will have debt, which is a good thing, because if things don’t work out then he can go chapter 13 and get a Bush bailout.

That is, if he can get a loan at all. Has he not heard that the banks that have received a piece of the $700 B “rescue plan” are still loath to lend? They are said to be hoarding the money because of the riskiness of investing in our country’s solvency. But even as I click and clack, the leader of the free world is saying to the US Chamber of Commerce, and me, that because of the actions of his administration, we are on the road to a better brighter future. In fact his plan sounds damn good. But it is also factual that he is full of shit and none of his big promises have panned out. We haven’t found bin Laden, the war is not nearly over and of course Brownie was a total loser and three years later New Orleanians still struggle for promised relief. So Joe, don’t hold your breath.

I thought BHO was a little snarky in a clip from the campaign trail when he quipped something along the lines of “How many plumbers do you know that are making $250, 000 a year?” But the point is well made. Although that kind of cash is not inconceivable for owners of plumbing companies, it isn’t bloody likely that a guy with his own truck and his wife doing the bookkeeping is pulling down that kind of long green. Certainly not around here.

And yet dissecting the veracities of Joe’s narrative now trumps the most important story in this country since the twin towers vanished. The carnival barkers would rather talk about how many times “Joe the plumber” was mentioned during the candidates debate than they would try to parse the candidates economic proposals for their audiences. SNL should be a hoot this week.

Joe’s fifteen minutes of fame won’t hurt him. It may even help him to get a loan. He certainly won’t have any trouble developing a customer list especially if he has already registered “Joe the Plumber” as a trade name. No, it looks like the worst problem Joe is going to have is making the painful three-point hike into the 39% tax bracket. I would love to share his pain.