One eighth of my life

In NH we get to cover the primaries and I got to meet “W” a couple of times back in the 2000 primary. The first time was when he came striding buoyantly across Schouler Park in North Conway surrounded by a dozen Texas Rangers and totally in his element. That big cheerleader grin and the Sarah Palin wave. The crowd was giddy and I remember one very Republican looking woman (Lord & Taylor with pearls) telling her friend, “He looked right at me. I feel like I know him.” Alrighty then.

It was quite an introduction to the North Country and even the cynical lefties of the press (me and Marvel) couldn’t get over how he charmed us all. When he came toward the microphone on his way in he passed within feet of me and I said, “Buenos dias, Gubernator.” I was leery of his professed fluency in Mexican but he came right back with, “Buenos dias...Pedro” for it only took him a couple of seconds to check the name on my press pass. I asked Captain Marvel what he thought and he replied, patting his back pocket where he keeps his reporter pad, “I’ve already written the story. I just need to fill in the times.” But he did agree with me that “W” accomplished that mission and with a putative $200K bankroll it was going to be hard to beat him.

Novemberish, I was sent up to Gorham to hear the candidate give a speech to a room full of polite if phlegmatic Republicans. Arriving early I took and looked at the campaign crap on the table in the lobby. While His Hon. spoke I was suddenly taken with his tin ear. He almost always seemed to punch the wrong word in the sentence. His cadence was so awkward I wondered seriously how his campaign thought he could ever get past the wider press who would surely be gleeful at the opportunity to rag on him, though curiously, they hadn’t yet. I listened very carefully because I knew this was the story I would write. After he spoke I watched him work the room which to this day I don’t think anyone does better. If he stunk at stumping he was a star as he went table to table back-clapping, winking, chortling and having his picture taken with the smitten smilers.

Later, the press, about eight locals — the road to Gorham is a bit long for the national scribblers — were invited to sit at a round table with His Cockiness who could not help making un-funny cutesy jokes as when he sarcastically put down one of the Berlin (NH) reporters for thinking that $40 million was a large sum of money. And when he pretended to be impressed when somebody mentioned a Brooks Brothers outlet and then sneaked in his smirk. I was pissed. I thought then as now, the arrogant little shit has done nothing to prove himself. He has ridden his father’s good name all his life and now he has to be a dick to people who are going to write about him? Clearly a fool who would get his ass handed to him by the big-time media.

I asked him how he had lowered taxes 30 percent in Texas while at the same time giving every single Texas teacher a 30 percent raise during the time he was the Gov. “Where’d you get those figures?” he snapped sensing a gotcha. I handed him some talking points of his campaign that I had picked up in the lobby. He took it without looking at me and barked, “Billy. Go git Karen.” I looked over to see my 3 term Congressman who is 10 years Bush's senior jump out of his chair and leave the room and return in minutes with Karen Hughes whose name I had never heard at that point. She gave me a bullshit answer that didn’t explain anything other than the information they were handing out was bogus and she was at a loss to explain it. I actually felt sorry for her and didn’t want to embarrass her so I let it drop and then wrote a “silver foot in mouth” story for the Daily.

For me that set the tone of his campaign and his presidency. Yesterday I watched his final press conference and got quite a surprise. He was gracious to the press and took all manner of questions for 45 minutes or so in an easy give and take session even chuckling at himself (those shoulders) as he finally remembered to call Suzanne Malveaux “Sue-ZAHN”. There was little smirking and he only poked fun at himself asking the White House press not to “misunderestimate me.” No one laughed.

As he talked about "countries contingent to" Gaza, and bemoaned the "writers and OH-piners," I realized that would be the only thing I will miss about the Dub. I recalled fondly, "Put food on your families," "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." "...internets." Or when he told a single mother of three that he thought it was "fantastic" that she worked three jobs to keep her head above water. Then there was the semi-adorable, "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" and the all time fave, "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

I believe in my heart he was an unwitting dupe for the Rove machine. But the sumnabitch oughta had knowed better. That being POTUS ain’t bean bag and that he was no more qualified to lead the free world than Milorad Blagojevich. He’ll be gone in a couple of days and I wish his wife and children a speedy recovery. I truly hope "W" lives long enough to finally learn what the world thought of his disastrous reign.