I don’t see a “package” which I consider to be some things wrapped up tidily inside so they can’t spill out and perhaps a ribbon with a bow to make a pleasing appearance. What I see instead is a personification of cats being herded by a three year old cranked on Ritalin.
I tried hard to believe Hank Paulson’s idea for a $700 billion bail out was exactly what was needed to stanch the hemorrhaging of financial sector jobs and by extension the failure of the institutions that we all rely on even if we’re not exactly sure why. Two words come to mind: credit-cards and mortgages (Is that three?). Most people who follow current events are likely to have direct experiences with both of these. So it does matter to us what decisions are being made. I personally know people who have been affected by jobs that were cut back. I meet people in my real job, who don’t build houses, are not heading to their retail jobs every day and complain that numbers are down in their restaurant or at the ski area where they work.
What in the name of all that is holy did the bogus bailout do for them? And we have seen a dozen stories of avaricious excess by the principals whose banks (mostly) have received TARP monies. The $87,000 rug, the $50 million new corporate jet. It gives me the feeling that, like the baddies at Enron, these dicks are laughing at the big fat fatuity that is our government trying to steer the right course in the midst of this calamity.
I would have voted against the Paulson plan for the simple reason that Hanky Pank had written into the rules: If I let you let me have this money for my secretive project with little if any oversight, then you have to agree that I can never be held responsible for its (probable) failure. This is a conservative Wall Street banking guy.
Now we are expected to believe that the people in charge of our money like the new tax-cheat in chief know what they are doing. Let me ask: If it is so important to figure out this mess, why is the Republican leadership (if they can be said to have any) with that Devo-looking John Boehner, in front of the mics to announce that he will vote against the $850 Billion (that’s eight five zero, zero zero zero, zero zero zero, zero zero zero point zero zero). His reason as he says with a straight face, “they” want a couple hundred million dollars for rubbers.
Paul Krugman says throw all the money you can at this. Paul’s got a Nobel in this very subject. Does he know how to spend all that money in a way that will solve the problem that it’s aimed at right now? He has only nodded toward somewhat vague concepts of what is needed in terms of the catch all phrase “infrastructure.” But we are hearing ridiculous wild guesses as to how long it will take to put that kind of money into the economy to supposedly stimulate us out of our ever expanding economic hole so that we can someday begin to pay it all back.
I truly believe that we can spend that money all across this country on projects that have been put in the pipeline a decade ago. One does not just build a road to cash in on “free” money. Departments of Highway have teams of engineers and stategists to predict what the needs of an expanding and more mobile population will require to get places, like school. These people figure out how many people will be in the immediate area years from now so they can buy up property at current rates to place a new school where it will do the most good. In some cases new roads will have to be put in place to handle the increased traffic. That kind of thinking has to be ongoing so that we are not starting from scratch when the need is immediate.
Bridge inspectors have a twenty year backlog of disasters waiting to happen in the hopes that money will some how become available to mend or replace ageing and dangerous structures that were built eons ago to accommodate a more modest amount of traffic.
And assuming that the Crooked Construction Company is already lining up to bid on these babies, you can assume from jump street that the costs of these projects will over-run on the kind of formula that made the Big Dig such a taxpayer treat. That little puppy (a 3.5 mile tunnel with off shoots to the airport and such) was estimated to cost $2.8 Billion back in 1985 when it was conceived and that included an underground rail system to go back and forth between the North and South train stations. That didn’t happen.
The eventual cost with adjustment for inflation became $14 plus Billion. O wait! Did I mention that you need to tack on the $7 Billion in interest that makes the grand total enough to run the Iraq war for a couple of months. You see, it’s all relative.
If that little project (3.5 mi.) sextupled, at least, we need to divide the 850 by six to see what we really get for our next trillion of debt which people who are losing their jobs by the millions are expected to pay for.
Have a nice day.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Swan song for the ugly duckling
What is there to be said on the last night that Dubya spends in the White House that hasn’t already been said, thought, blogged, opined, repined or joked about? The little dude is gonna sneak off into the sunset with not even a whimper. No speech is planned. No party. No send off. And certainly no press. If we are keen to see his ass hurrying though the door of Marine One, it is nothing compared to what he must be feeling.
We’re not talking just a sigh of relief as he plunks down in his gleaming ride heading for Andrews. O no. He will have an uneraseable shit-eatin’ grin that will stop only long enough to take his first swig of a big ol’ bourbon and branch as he nestles into that cream colored leather chair they have on Air Force One for Ex-POTUSes to take the suckers walk, as it were. Two more like the first one and he’ll be calling Cheney to tell him what he/Dick told Pat Leahy on the floor of the senate.
Then, before he passes out, he’ll get ”The Architect” on the line: “Yo, Boy Genius!” he’ll slur at the top of his lungs. And then, “Thanks a lot futher mucker, you son-of-a-bitchin’ bald-headed, beer-bellied bullying bastard. Thanks for fuckin’ nothin’. Why the hell did I let you ride my old man’s coat tails? You said it was gonna be so easy. Alls I hadda do was play the part. Like I did when I wuzza frickin’ governor. ‘It’ll be easy’ you said, ‘just like ownin’ a baseball team only the owner’s box has 135 rooms. ‘We’ll do all the heavy liftin’ you said, told me to just go and rest my sorry-ass brain, an’ you would take care of every thing. HOW’D THAT WORK OUT YOU FAT SUMBITCH?
“Lemme tell you sumfin teletubby. You and your big-shot plans weren’t shit. No, no, no. I mean thas azackly what they were, a big pile a shit. You wannid me to start that dumb-ass war so I could get re-elected as a war time prez. Well frig you man. Thas the stupidest thing I ever did. Now all those people dead. All those kids in the hospital I went to see, that once. I know, I know. I kep sayin’ that I was visitin’ the sojers and stuff over at Reed. But I cootin take it man. I hated that shit. I didn’t wanna start that asshole war anyway. Now all them dead. Four thousand? Can you believe we killed 4,000 of our own people because somebody else killed 3,000 of arn? What the hell sense does that make, and you wannid it. Well, how d’ya feel about 100 K Iraqi civilians blowed away and the millions of homeless? Karl, I think we fucked up big time. I never dreamed it would be like this. And Katrina…Jeezus man, what were you thinkin’?
“Hey man, didja hear me the other night talkin’ to Charlie Gibson or one a them assholes, sayin’ I thought my biggest mistake about New Orleans was not landin’ the plane there. Aw shit, Karl. Man, I would love to take that one back but I just ditn’ know what to say. I mean all those people wallerin’ around in that stinkin’ water with no food, no water, no nothin’ man. That was the worst. I shoulda said somethin’ better ‘an that. But I just cooten. How could I tell the ‘Merican people that I trusted all that shit to some friggin’ “political operative” and his “neo-cons” – ever what the shit that is. In fact I trusted all you bastards and you all sucked. You sucked at war, you sucked at disaster, you sucked at the economy, you sucked at torture an’ shit. Everything! You sucked at got damn everything!
Karl, I gotta go man. I think I’m gonna be sick, man. O god…. where’s the toilet? O, there it is. Thank you god. RAAAAALLLLLLPH!
We’re not talking just a sigh of relief as he plunks down in his gleaming ride heading for Andrews. O no. He will have an uneraseable shit-eatin’ grin that will stop only long enough to take his first swig of a big ol’ bourbon and branch as he nestles into that cream colored leather chair they have on Air Force One for Ex-POTUSes to take the suckers walk, as it were. Two more like the first one and he’ll be calling Cheney to tell him what he/Dick told Pat Leahy on the floor of the senate.
Then, before he passes out, he’ll get ”The Architect” on the line: “Yo, Boy Genius!” he’ll slur at the top of his lungs. And then, “Thanks a lot futher mucker, you son-of-a-bitchin’ bald-headed, beer-bellied bullying bastard. Thanks for fuckin’ nothin’. Why the hell did I let you ride my old man’s coat tails? You said it was gonna be so easy. Alls I hadda do was play the part. Like I did when I wuzza frickin’ governor. ‘It’ll be easy’ you said, ‘just like ownin’ a baseball team only the owner’s box has 135 rooms. ‘We’ll do all the heavy liftin’ you said, told me to just go and rest my sorry-ass brain, an’ you would take care of every thing. HOW’D THAT WORK OUT YOU FAT SUMBITCH?
“Lemme tell you sumfin teletubby. You and your big-shot plans weren’t shit. No, no, no. I mean thas azackly what they were, a big pile a shit. You wannid me to start that dumb-ass war so I could get re-elected as a war time prez. Well frig you man. Thas the stupidest thing I ever did. Now all those people dead. All those kids in the hospital I went to see, that once. I know, I know. I kep sayin’ that I was visitin’ the sojers and stuff over at Reed. But I cootin take it man. I hated that shit. I didn’t wanna start that asshole war anyway. Now all them dead. Four thousand? Can you believe we killed 4,000 of our own people because somebody else killed 3,000 of arn? What the hell sense does that make, and you wannid it. Well, how d’ya feel about 100 K Iraqi civilians blowed away and the millions of homeless? Karl, I think we fucked up big time. I never dreamed it would be like this. And Katrina…Jeezus man, what were you thinkin’?
“Hey man, didja hear me the other night talkin’ to Charlie Gibson or one a them assholes, sayin’ I thought my biggest mistake about New Orleans was not landin’ the plane there. Aw shit, Karl. Man, I would love to take that one back but I just ditn’ know what to say. I mean all those people wallerin’ around in that stinkin’ water with no food, no water, no nothin’ man. That was the worst. I shoulda said somethin’ better ‘an that. But I just cooten. How could I tell the ‘Merican people that I trusted all that shit to some friggin’ “political operative” and his “neo-cons” – ever what the shit that is. In fact I trusted all you bastards and you all sucked. You sucked at war, you sucked at disaster, you sucked at the economy, you sucked at torture an’ shit. Everything! You sucked at got damn everything!
Karl, I gotta go man. I think I’m gonna be sick, man. O god…. where’s the toilet? O, there it is. Thank you god. RAAAAALLLLLLPH!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
One eighth of my life
In NH we get to cover the primaries and I got to meet “W” a couple of times back in the 2000 primary. The first time was when he came striding buoyantly across Schouler Park in North Conway surrounded by a dozen Texas Rangers and totally in his element. That big cheerleader grin and the Sarah Palin wave. The crowd was giddy and I remember one very Republican looking woman (Lord & Taylor with pearls) telling her friend, “He looked right at me. I feel like I know him.” Alrighty then.
It was quite an introduction to the North Country and even the cynical lefties of the press (me and Marvel) couldn’t get over how he charmed us all. When he came toward the microphone on his way in he passed within feet of me and I said, “Buenos dias, Gubernator.” I was leery of his professed fluency in Mexican but he came right back with, “Buenos dias...Pedro” for it only took him a couple of seconds to check the name on my press pass. I asked Captain Marvel what he thought and he replied, patting his back pocket where he keeps his reporter pad, “I’ve already written the story. I just need to fill in the times.” But he did agree with me that “W” accomplished that mission and with a putative $200K bankroll it was going to be hard to beat him.
Novemberish, I was sent up to Gorham to hear the candidate give a speech to a room full of polite if phlegmatic Republicans. Arriving early I took and looked at the campaign crap on the table in the lobby. While His Hon. spoke I was suddenly taken with his tin ear. He almost always seemed to punch the wrong word in the sentence. His cadence was so awkward I wondered seriously how his campaign thought he could ever get past the wider press who would surely be gleeful at the opportunity to rag on him, though curiously, they hadn’t yet. I listened very carefully because I knew this was the story I would write. After he spoke I watched him work the room which to this day I don’t think anyone does better. If he stunk at stumping he was a star as he went table to table back-clapping, winking, chortling and having his picture taken with the smitten smilers.
Later, the press, about eight locals — the road to Gorham is a bit long for the national scribblers — were invited to sit at a round table with His Cockiness who could not help making un-funny cutesy jokes as when he sarcastically put down one of the Berlin (NH) reporters for thinking that $40 million was a large sum of money. And when he pretended to be impressed when somebody mentioned a Brooks Brothers outlet and then sneaked in his smirk. I was pissed. I thought then as now, the arrogant little shit has done nothing to prove himself. He has ridden his father’s good name all his life and now he has to be a dick to people who are going to write about him? Clearly a fool who would get his ass handed to him by the big-time media.
I asked him how he had lowered taxes 30 percent in Texas while at the same time giving every single Texas teacher a 30 percent raise during the time he was the Gov. “Where’d you get those figures?” he snapped sensing a gotcha. I handed him some talking points of his campaign that I had picked up in the lobby. He took it without looking at me and barked, “Billy. Go git Karen.” I looked over to see my 3 term Congressman who is 10 years Bush's senior jump out of his chair and leave the room and return in minutes with Karen Hughes whose name I had never heard at that point. She gave me a bullshit answer that didn’t explain anything other than the information they were handing out was bogus and she was at a loss to explain it. I actually felt sorry for her and didn’t want to embarrass her so I let it drop and then wrote a “silver foot in mouth” story for the Daily.
For me that set the tone of his campaign and his presidency. Yesterday I watched his final press conference and got quite a surprise. He was gracious to the press and took all manner of questions for 45 minutes or so in an easy give and take session even chuckling at himself (those shoulders) as he finally remembered to call Suzanne Malveaux “Sue-ZAHN”. There was little smirking and he only poked fun at himself asking the White House press not to “misunderestimate me.” No one laughed.
As he talked about "countries contingent to" Gaza, and bemoaned the "writers and OH-piners," I realized that would be the only thing I will miss about the Dub. I recalled fondly, "Put food on your families," "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." "...internets." Or when he told a single mother of three that he thought it was "fantastic" that she worked three jobs to keep her head above water. Then there was the semi-adorable, "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" and the all time fave, "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
I believe in my heart he was an unwitting dupe for the Rove machine. But the sumnabitch oughta had knowed better. That being POTUS ain’t bean bag and that he was no more qualified to lead the free world than Milorad Blagojevich. He’ll be gone in a couple of days and I wish his wife and children a speedy recovery. I truly hope "W" lives long enough to finally learn what the world thought of his disastrous reign.
It was quite an introduction to the North Country and even the cynical lefties of the press (me and Marvel) couldn’t get over how he charmed us all. When he came toward the microphone on his way in he passed within feet of me and I said, “Buenos dias, Gubernator.” I was leery of his professed fluency in Mexican but he came right back with, “Buenos dias...Pedro” for it only took him a couple of seconds to check the name on my press pass. I asked Captain Marvel what he thought and he replied, patting his back pocket where he keeps his reporter pad, “I’ve already written the story. I just need to fill in the times.” But he did agree with me that “W” accomplished that mission and with a putative $200K bankroll it was going to be hard to beat him.
Novemberish, I was sent up to Gorham to hear the candidate give a speech to a room full of polite if phlegmatic Republicans. Arriving early I took and looked at the campaign crap on the table in the lobby. While His Hon. spoke I was suddenly taken with his tin ear. He almost always seemed to punch the wrong word in the sentence. His cadence was so awkward I wondered seriously how his campaign thought he could ever get past the wider press who would surely be gleeful at the opportunity to rag on him, though curiously, they hadn’t yet. I listened very carefully because I knew this was the story I would write. After he spoke I watched him work the room which to this day I don’t think anyone does better. If he stunk at stumping he was a star as he went table to table back-clapping, winking, chortling and having his picture taken with the smitten smilers.
Later, the press, about eight locals — the road to Gorham is a bit long for the national scribblers — were invited to sit at a round table with His Cockiness who could not help making un-funny cutesy jokes as when he sarcastically put down one of the Berlin (NH) reporters for thinking that $40 million was a large sum of money. And when he pretended to be impressed when somebody mentioned a Brooks Brothers outlet and then sneaked in his smirk. I was pissed. I thought then as now, the arrogant little shit has done nothing to prove himself. He has ridden his father’s good name all his life and now he has to be a dick to people who are going to write about him? Clearly a fool who would get his ass handed to him by the big-time media.
I asked him how he had lowered taxes 30 percent in Texas while at the same time giving every single Texas teacher a 30 percent raise during the time he was the Gov. “Where’d you get those figures?” he snapped sensing a gotcha. I handed him some talking points of his campaign that I had picked up in the lobby. He took it without looking at me and barked, “Billy. Go git Karen.” I looked over to see my 3 term Congressman who is 10 years Bush's senior jump out of his chair and leave the room and return in minutes with Karen Hughes whose name I had never heard at that point. She gave me a bullshit answer that didn’t explain anything other than the information they were handing out was bogus and she was at a loss to explain it. I actually felt sorry for her and didn’t want to embarrass her so I let it drop and then wrote a “silver foot in mouth” story for the Daily.
For me that set the tone of his campaign and his presidency. Yesterday I watched his final press conference and got quite a surprise. He was gracious to the press and took all manner of questions for 45 minutes or so in an easy give and take session even chuckling at himself (those shoulders) as he finally remembered to call Suzanne Malveaux “Sue-ZAHN”. There was little smirking and he only poked fun at himself asking the White House press not to “misunderestimate me.” No one laughed.
As he talked about "countries contingent to" Gaza, and bemoaned the "writers and OH-piners," I realized that would be the only thing I will miss about the Dub. I recalled fondly, "Put food on your families," "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." "...internets." Or when he told a single mother of three that he thought it was "fantastic" that she worked three jobs to keep her head above water. Then there was the semi-adorable, "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" and the all time fave, "There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
I believe in my heart he was an unwitting dupe for the Rove machine. But the sumnabitch oughta had knowed better. That being POTUS ain’t bean bag and that he was no more qualified to lead the free world than Milorad Blagojevich. He’ll be gone in a couple of days and I wish his wife and children a speedy recovery. I truly hope "W" lives long enough to finally learn what the world thought of his disastrous reign.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Post-dictions for 2008
These were a few of my favorite things:
· Sarah Palin
· “The economy is basically sound”
· Winning Iowa
· Winning NH (it kept things lively as in: I never wanted it to end)
· HRC ducking for cover
· WJC trash talkin’ Jesse because he won in South Carolina
· The Fuckabees
· The terrorist fist jab & the NYer cover
· Sarah Palin
· Finding out my buddy Marianne Pernold-Young was the one who made HRC a little verklempt (or as the media had it: bawled her freakin’ eyes out.)
· Rudy’s Florida, Florida, Florida strategy
· Johnny Mc calling his wife that word that men must never mutter when she gently chided him about being “a little thin on top” (You think his top is thin? How ‘bout his skin?)
· D. Kucinich, D-OH admitting he believes in space aliens
· D. Kucinich’s wife
· Mike Gravel getting me a cup of coffee when I was the only one who showed up for his “rally” at the Met in North Conway. Not the only press, the only person.
· HRC reserving the Kennett High gym for a long weekend when she knew she would be elsewhere so that she could block Barack
· Lipstick on a Pig (in my heart I believe he was gleeful over the double entendre)
· Sinking the three pointer for the troops
· The Johnny & Barry white-tie comedy act
· The John Edwards $400 haircuts and subsequent YouTube clip
· John Edwards knocking up his own over-paid videoist
· Fred Thompson’s out of the chute start on an un-plugged mechanical bull
· Ron Paul’s incredible indelible following
· Sarah Palin
· Mitt Romney’s secret Mormon undies
· BHO lifting words from Deval Patrick who had boosted them from MLK Jr. & others
· The mass media criticizing the mass media for being the mass media
· Chris Mathews getting a thrill running up his leg over BHO
· Former NSA Sec. Zbig Brzinsk calling Morning Joe Scarboring’s understanding of foreign policy “stunningly superficial” while ignoring the fact that his daughter (Meekly Buttinski) who co-hosts for Joe, is herself nothing less than stunningly superficial (she had the sand to pick on Caroline Kennedy for interjecting too many “ya knows” into unscripted answers when she herself can seldom finish a sentence. Pot, Kettle, Black)
· Milorad Blag'oy'ovitch finally getting us all to know how to pronounce his name and dousing the possibility of having that other crook Jesse Jr. for an Ill. Sen.
· And who don’t love Pat Fitzgerald?
· Jesse Sr. for offering his surgical skills in order to make the next President (who has effectively made him irrelevant) a soprano
· HRC for bravely ducking sniper fire (again). YGBSM!
· Her husband for not having one single affair revealed during the seemingly endless campaign
· Michelle O correctly wearing a GAP dress on TV just prior to Sarah Palin’s wardrobe debacle
· Bristol Palin not marrying that flaming shit-heel Levi
· Todd not coming down with another DUI or STD
· Trig staying out of mean spirited jokes (for the most part)
· Katie Couric’s miraculous comeback (thank you Governor Palin)
· Charlie Gibson’s piss poor performance which goes a long way to seeing evening network news take a digger (I miss it already)
· Whoever the dub was (Wolf?) asking candidates seeking the freaking presidency of the United States to answer a killer question by raising their hands
· Rudy & entourage going to a Portsmouth restaurant newly named “Rudy’s” and ruining our night
· McCain’s gracious concession (Johnny, we hardly knew ye)
· Getting a mention for my paper by Tim on Meet the Press only to find out my publisher doesn’t watch
· Getting canned twice in the first half of the year (a personal best) by said publisher
· Marge the Barge quitting
· Dave Peterson reinstituting the Horsefeather’s C’mas party
· Heather getting preggers
· Wendy up with putting
· The Brothers Karamazov
· A week at Ocean Alley
· Cheap cognac
And O, did I mention Sarah Palin who gave us this:
Q: One of the things you talked about last night was the flexibility the vice president has —
PALIN: Yeah.
Q: — Uh. What did you mean by that?
PALIN: Uh. That thankfully our founders were wise enough to say we have this position and it's constitutional — vice president will be able to be not only the position flexible, but it's gonna be those other duties as assigned by the president. A simple thing.
Bless her heart.
May you be made Madoff rich in the New Year without getting caught.
· Sarah Palin
· “The economy is basically sound”
· Winning Iowa
· Winning NH (it kept things lively as in: I never wanted it to end)
· HRC ducking for cover
· WJC trash talkin’ Jesse because he won in South Carolina
· The Fuckabees
· The terrorist fist jab & the NYer cover
· Sarah Palin
· Finding out my buddy Marianne Pernold-Young was the one who made HRC a little verklempt (or as the media had it: bawled her freakin’ eyes out.)
· Rudy’s Florida, Florida, Florida strategy
· Johnny Mc calling his wife that word that men must never mutter when she gently chided him about being “a little thin on top” (You think his top is thin? How ‘bout his skin?)
· D. Kucinich, D-OH admitting he believes in space aliens
· D. Kucinich’s wife
· Mike Gravel getting me a cup of coffee when I was the only one who showed up for his “rally” at the Met in North Conway. Not the only press, the only person.
· HRC reserving the Kennett High gym for a long weekend when she knew she would be elsewhere so that she could block Barack
· Lipstick on a Pig (in my heart I believe he was gleeful over the double entendre)
· Sinking the three pointer for the troops
· The Johnny & Barry white-tie comedy act
· The John Edwards $400 haircuts and subsequent YouTube clip
· John Edwards knocking up his own over-paid videoist
· Fred Thompson’s out of the chute start on an un-plugged mechanical bull
· Ron Paul’s incredible indelible following
· Sarah Palin
· Mitt Romney’s secret Mormon undies
· BHO lifting words from Deval Patrick who had boosted them from MLK Jr. & others
· The mass media criticizing the mass media for being the mass media
· Chris Mathews getting a thrill running up his leg over BHO
· Former NSA Sec. Zbig Brzinsk calling Morning Joe Scarboring’s understanding of foreign policy “stunningly superficial” while ignoring the fact that his daughter (Meekly Buttinski) who co-hosts for Joe, is herself nothing less than stunningly superficial (she had the sand to pick on Caroline Kennedy for interjecting too many “ya knows” into unscripted answers when she herself can seldom finish a sentence. Pot, Kettle, Black)
· Milorad Blag'oy'ovitch finally getting us all to know how to pronounce his name and dousing the possibility of having that other crook Jesse Jr. for an Ill. Sen.
· And who don’t love Pat Fitzgerald?
· Jesse Sr. for offering his surgical skills in order to make the next President (who has effectively made him irrelevant) a soprano
· HRC for bravely ducking sniper fire (again). YGBSM!
· Her husband for not having one single affair revealed during the seemingly endless campaign
· Michelle O correctly wearing a GAP dress on TV just prior to Sarah Palin’s wardrobe debacle
· Bristol Palin not marrying that flaming shit-heel Levi
· Todd not coming down with another DUI or STD
· Trig staying out of mean spirited jokes (for the most part)
· Katie Couric’s miraculous comeback (thank you Governor Palin)
· Charlie Gibson’s piss poor performance which goes a long way to seeing evening network news take a digger (I miss it already)
· Whoever the dub was (Wolf?) asking candidates seeking the freaking presidency of the United States to answer a killer question by raising their hands
· Rudy & entourage going to a Portsmouth restaurant newly named “Rudy’s” and ruining our night
· McCain’s gracious concession (Johnny, we hardly knew ye)
· Getting a mention for my paper by Tim on Meet the Press only to find out my publisher doesn’t watch
· Getting canned twice in the first half of the year (a personal best) by said publisher
· Marge the Barge quitting
· Dave Peterson reinstituting the Horsefeather’s C’mas party
· Heather getting preggers
· Wendy up with putting
· The Brothers Karamazov
· A week at Ocean Alley
· Cheap cognac
And O, did I mention Sarah Palin who gave us this:
Q: One of the things you talked about last night was the flexibility the vice president has —
PALIN: Yeah.
Q: — Uh. What did you mean by that?
PALIN: Uh. That thankfully our founders were wise enough to say we have this position and it's constitutional — vice president will be able to be not only the position flexible, but it's gonna be those other duties as assigned by the president. A simple thing.
Bless her heart.
May you be made Madoff rich in the New Year without getting caught.
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