oBAM!a

“Our long national nightmare is over,” Jerry Ford famously said when the Trickster flew off to sunny San Clemente for a well deserved rest. Those are the words that came to me election night and then again in the morning. Some TV talker said this that George Bush’s approval rating is the lowest since they started keeping track. My friends, let there be no mistake, the fundamentals of democracy are sound. We will turn this turkey around and do what needs to be done to some day fix the ills that beleaguer us so badly. Your President-elect is already asking for “a new spirit of service and sacrifice.” I hope he is right. We need this change. These two words no longer seem like just a lexiconical leitmotif to be implanted on the back of the eyeballs of the witless electorate.

But! The first thing we need to do is shove this victory down the throats of the defeated. Really grind it in. Make sure they know there is a new sheriff in town. Have ten times more inaugural balls than the Bushies did. All the staff at the WH will be lily whites. Draw mustaches on W’s portrait. Because, you know the “O”s are coming off the White House keyboards and the silverware is already on a truck to Crawford. Rahm Emanuel needs to strap on his jack boots and boot around some booty.

O wait a minute. That’s not what got this guy elected. This is the man, they said up here in the White Mountains a year ago, that is “too cool for school.” I don’t know how many times I have heard the likes of Pat Buchannan and Joe Scarboring say, “Barack needs to punch back. This isn’t the way politics works. Politics is a blood sport.” What say you now Joe Blowhard? Playing tough works for you because you’re a bleedin’ bully. You think maybe it’s time to turn that page? You're old hat at 45. There’s a new breeze blowing and it is going to change the way people get elected and the sliming will only be for slime balls and ye shall know them by that name.

I even saw Michelle Bachman (the bad Michelle) who called for a “media investigation” of whether BarackO and some others of his ilk were patriotic enough. I assume she means her standard of good enough. Chris Mathews jumped all over her ass and did himself a huge favor in the process, gee shock. Now, Bachman, who has the political courage of Joe Lieberman, is saying what a great day this is and that she is so proud of this nation because, as she somewhat ineptly put it, "In my district, I don't sense racism [she’s in Minnesota], and that's why I'm thankful that hopefully this will send a national signal across our country that America is not a nation made up of racists... On the same hand, I hope that the national media will not confuse disagreement with Obama's policy positions with being consumed [by] racism." In the seventh grade I was pretty good at diagraming sentences. But I couldn’t parse that one with a gun to my head. My dream ticket for 2012, Palin-Bachman, “We’re right because we are waaay right.” I would add, and out of touch with the new reality.

Speaking of pickin’ on Palin (which, Dear Reader, you know I am loathe to do), what up with what we are guessing is the highest echelons of the McCain camp trashin’ the Gov.? I mean, that ain’t right dawg. They plucked her out of obscurity. They told her what to say, how to dress, where to be. And now they are blaming her for being a “maverick” and goin’ all rogue on 'em?

Let’s pick on Johnny Boy instead. Raise your hand if you thought the guy who “has been fighting for his country since [he] was seventeen” ran a really good campaign. Keep in mind that a president has to be a good manager. My man Mac was a spoiled little shit all the way up, his nightmare at the HH, not included or to be trifled with. When you look at all his advantages he should have been a shoo in. I won’t retrash the guy, at this particular moment, but I do want to point out the way his “people” are behaving about their/his loss.

Most people agree with me (about this one thing anyway) that Almost Admiral McCain gave his best performance of his shitty campaign in his concession speech. Sort of like Teddy K when he lost to (OMG!) Jimmy Carter in ’80. Well, if that was Mac being Mac, how could Steve Schmidt not have known that is what people wanted to see and hear? No, Bullet Head wanted to tightly script the “maverick” candidate to hit all the talking points as he has done in all the other campaigns he has run, in the past.
Schmidt surely had to be scratching his shiny pate when he saw Mr. Too Cool for School gliding past the Clinton machine with everybody talking about the tenor of the Obama message and the smooth operation of their own machine. But he was out of gas. He had reached the full height of his own incompetence (which to be fair, we all do at some point). But he did it at the beginning of his tenure as head of the campaign.

There’s a new day dawnin’ my peoples. Don’t forget to sign up to serve and sacrifice.